


Staff Transfer

by Daegaer



Category: Weiss Kreuz/RH Plus
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Crossover, Humor, M/M, Psychic Abilities, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-26
Updated: 2009-06-26
Packaged: 2019-07-06 11:18:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Mamoru knows how to deal with troublesome new employees.





	Staff Transfer

"Against my better judgment, I've been persuaded to allow you a period of probation," Mamoru said. He was glad for the false security of the wide expanse of desk between him and the rest of the room, and gladder still for the very real security of Nagi's wordless presence behind him. On the other hand, if it weren't for Nagi's incessant requests, he wouldn't have needed either form of security today at all. He glared at Crawford and Schuldig's smug faces.

"You'll regret this less than _not_ employing us," Crawford said.

"So we've been clasped to the loving bosom of Kritiker?" Schuldig said. "Nagi's told us about the pension scheme and benefits – he can sign for our expenses, right?" He pulled a handful of crumpled receipts from his pocket.

Mamoru gritted his teeth and buzzed for Rex. "Send in Michitaka-san and Kiyoi-san, please," he said.

"Who are these bozos?" Schuldig asked as Michitaka and Kiyoi came in. He frowned at Kiyoi. "Why can't I read your mind?" he said. "You don't seem to have shields – are you _dead?_ " he finished, peering into Kiyoi's face with a spark of interest. "Because meeting the walking dead is kind of unusual, even for us."

Kiyoi managed to give the impression that he was both patiently ignoring Schuldig and totally unable to see the clear and obvious shame such behaviour was bringing on the Takatori name, never to be expunged. Mamoru felt his fingers twitch and wished for his crossbow.

"Hello, Mamoru," Michitaka said.

"Good afternoon, Mr Takatori," Kiyoi said.

"Hey, he does the _Mr Takatori_ thing too," Schuldig said, as Crawford outright grinned. "Look at the kid's _face!_ Sucks to be you, Omittchi."

Mamoru took a breath, counted to ten and reflected that if he asked nicely, Nagi would have him on an international flight by the end of the day, off to a new life of arms dealing and luxurious Russian hotels. He smiled gently at everyone, imagining rockets falling to the accompaniment of crashing classical music.

"Rather than employ you directly in Kritiker, you'll be helping Michitaka-san's crime fighting endeavours. If you can behave yourself, then a more permanent position will be found." He rather enjoyed their expressions, he thought. "Crawford, you can be under Kiyoi's direction, while Schuldig will go with Michitaka-san."

"Five minutes in Kritiker and we're already wife-swapping," Crawford said, folding his arms and looking mildly irritated.

"Hey! Who are you calling your wife?" Schuldig snapped. He sidled over to Kiyoi and put a hand on his arm, batting his eyelashes. "I'm going with you," he said.

"No, I've already explained – " Mamoru started.

"I like men with glasses," Schuldig said, leering up at Kiyoi. "Besides, if we're wife-swapping then Crawford will want _that_ guy."

"What?" Michitaka said. "I'm not Kiyoi's wife!"

"Well –" Kiyoi said gently, as if there were some room for debate.

"Kiyoi! You know quite well that if anyone is effeminate, it's -"

"I'm sure your grandfather would have been interested to know how you would finish that sentence," Kiyoi said, in tones of mild reproof.

Michitaka looked at him in horror and loosened his tie, swallowing hard. "That's more than I wish to speculate about my grandfather," he said weakly.

"I, on the other hand, will happily draw all _sorts_ of conclusions," Schuldig said gleefully, intertwining his fingers with Kiyoi's. "Tell me more, tall, dead and handsome."

"I'm not technically dead," Kiyoi said, looking a little embarrassed. "I'm a vampire."

"Undead. Whatever. I like your cold, cold hands – let's play doctor."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Michitaka said as Kiyoi looked at Schuldig with sorrow and disappointment, saying,

"Please, not in front of the children." He gestured minutely in Mamoru and Nagi's direction.

"Mamoru, please control your subordinates," Michitaka said. "I'm not sure I can agree to this."

"They're your problem for the next few weeks," Mamoru said, cheerfully holding up the paperwork Michitaka had previously signed while thinking he was merely ordering flowers from Mamoru's old place of employment. He stacked his papers together neatly, thinking how much he was looking forward to a quiet empty office.

"So during this probationary period, you have successfully unsettled not only our relationship, but also that of a potential rival in the vigilante business," Crawford said, putting a possessive hand on the rather alarmed Michitaka's shoulder. "And you keep your own relationship intact. A good move, if somewhat personally petty. I approve."

"He's not my boyfriend," Mamoru protested. Everyone in the room, Nagi included, looked at him with scornful incredulity.

"I was talking about professional relationships, Mr Takatori," Crawford said with amusement. "Let's go," he said to Michitaka and steered him out the door before he could do more than look piteously at Kiyoi for help.

"Don't worry, Crawford won't damage him much," Schuldig said. "Are you going to put me under a vampiric glamour to make me do your every bidding? Because that could be fun."

"Maybe later," Kiyoi said politely, and hurried out the door after Michitaka. Schuldig waved impishly at Mamoru and trotted after him.

"That went well," Nagi said.

Mamoru calmed himself with a mental soundtrack of Wagner and the distant whine of incoming missiles.


End file.
